Somewhere Between Ft.Hood and Guam

Avaa Nichole Pickop

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I Just Need ME

Everyday I look in the mirror with wide eyes. My body’s reflection is not what it once was. As I look down to my feet with disappointment, the only thought that crosses my mind is, “Averi, you worked out today. What matters is you did something.” Even with this thought in my head, I still feel as if nothing will happen.

I just want to eat clean. To bad we can’t afford it. I keep trying to convince my husband that he needs to do it too! Not because I want to change him, but because his career and future health depend on it.

As of yesterday I chose to not drink alcohol until January 1st 2015! I don’t drink sodas and I don’t eat a ton of junk food. We are not going to eat out any more (That’s rare any ways). I am going to start going to bed at 10pm and waking up at 6am to go to the gym. 

Those are all things that need to be done. Our number one priority is to have a financial plan. We need to start saving, I need to finish school. That means being disciplined enough to sit down and JUST DO IT! 

I need to find what makes me happy.

I need to find what makes me feel like I did good at the end of the day.

I need to find what makes my soul sore in my body.

I need to find ME.

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You wouldn’t believe it but the top two pictures was my weight 2 years ago, a year ago… and the bottom picture is of my husband and I a month ago.

I’ve gained 60LBS in a little over a year after recovering from being an alcoholic.

So now I am trying to eat clean, live stress free, and go to the gym 5 days a week.

I’m so challenged. I have confidence for two weeks out of the month, then I put myself down the other two weeks.

I constantly pray for strength. My husband is constantly praising me and telling me “The beauty of your soul over takes the beauty of your body” …. Honestly it’s beautiful but I want my body to match my soul.

I want to be a healthy skinny…. not a closet alcoholic skinny.

So cheers to trying again lol gym at 9am lol

Filed under Motivation Trying Life MyLife

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epic-trip:

After struggling all through August to find the motivation to keep moving forward, I have finally got back on track with clean eating and exercise and have lost 75 pounds in a little over 5 months. To be 15 pounds away from my goal is a dream come true, and I cant wait to see where the next few months take me!

Please tell me how. Lol

epic-trip:

After struggling all through August to find the motivation to keep moving forward, I have finally got back on track with clean eating and exercise and have lost 75 pounds in a little over 5 months. To be 15 pounds away from my goal is a dream come true, and I cant wait to see where the next few months take me!

Please tell me how. Lol

(via motiveweight)

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630

I can’t go back to sleep. Oh well. I have to get ready…. go to Wal-Mart… go to Sam’s Club to fill up…. then go to my doctors appointment…. then go get Sammie from the Airport which I may be a little late getting her just bc of my doctors appointment. I think I’m going to reschedule the doctors appointment.
Damn you time.

You know if we didn’t have time it’d be a lot better sometimes lol

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Well I thought on it.

FUCK that. I love my husband. I do. We click like buckles.

I’m not going to ruin it for someone who realized what they lost after they lost it.

My husband has valued me from day one. That’s hard to find now days.